ribbonsunraveled:

pheuthe:

businesscasualprincess:

witchcraft-with-space-bean:

avantgaye:

m4ge:

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream

you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”

I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said “I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.

You never saw her again because after 19 espresso shots, she now vibrates too fast to be perceived by the human eye.

19 Shots of Espresso: An Alternative Flash Origin Story

(9 Shots of Espresso: An Autobiography of the Last Time Master)

You can actually die.

1. dasbroetchen reblogged this from yearningbread
2. trucks-fuck-in-purgatory liked this
3. thefoldedbird reblogged this from windyreads
4. thefoldedbird liked this
5. astridkolch reblogged this from windyreads
6. astridkolch liked this
7. windyreads reblogged this from world-heritage-posts
8. sandpancakecat reblogged this from sylversmith
9. illnevertellu reblogged this from world-heritage-posts
10. beautifuldifferences liked this
11. falenas108 reblogged this from michaelblume
12. xherovertherex liked this
13. cerizaa reblogged this from gjallarfox
14. inklesswordsmith reblogged this from gjallarfox
15. meowpurmeow liked this
16. professorblind reblogged this from michaelblume
17. gjallarfox reblogged this from the-skeletoninyour-closet
18. pilfered-words liked this
19. comparativelysuperlative liked this
20. careamouche liked this
21. imapirahana98 liked this
22. thingsformykitty reblogged this from katjohnadams
23. thepowerofardency liked this
24. ireneae reblogged this from michaelblume
25. iridescentsprout liked this
26. lowkeyvibing reblogged this from world-heritage-posts
27. di--es---can-ic-ul-ar--es reblogged this from michaelblume and added:

    Great work 10/10

28. di--es---can-ic-ul-ar--es liked this
29. fadingglowcloud liked this
30. rat1537 reblogged this from world-heritage-posts
31. rat1537 liked this
32. the-skeletoninyour-closet reblogged this from oddatbest
33. theorem-sorry liked this
34. bobby-the-dapper-duckling liked this
35. michaelblume reblogged this from seriousmelam
36. maybeitskogayne reblogged this from caleneragami
37. maybeitskogayne liked this
38. caleneragami reblogged this from kazliin
39. delectabletater reblogged this from redkat
40. delectabletater liked this
41. dendrocnide-moroides reblogged this from thebookewyrme
42. osomatsukin reblogged this from sheepyseconds
43. roavaldamjong liked this
44. friedcalzonebagelskeleton liked this
45. countessgrey reblogged this from kazliin
46. mongoosegoose reblogged this from kazliin
47. raddiqueen reblogged this from kazliin